Graph-a-Day til Christmas Part 19!

 

Can you believe we’re almost to graph 20 on the year!??? I sure can’t. The good news is that the Christmas spirit ramps up tomorrow with the first mighty snow storm (named Draco because it…breathes fire?) of the year. If you need help getting through this Wednesday night though, today’s graph will help. Just find a string of jingle bells. The more they ring, the more you will feel the need to bust out in Christmas caroling.

 

Warning: Extreme wassailing may turn you into a character from Adventure Time

 

The reasons for this are quite simple. I’ll list them here:

1. Ringing bells are musical
2. Santa uses jingle bells on his sleigh
3. One Christmas carol is actually called “Jingle Bells” (If you didn’t know that, contact me for a more intensive Christmas cheer course)

Jingle bells are also useful in bar brawls, if the need presents itself

 

Now, the first logical Christmas carol to be sung when the bells start a’ jingling is the aforementioned “Jingle Bells.” However a close second would be “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” (Silver Bells sometimes seems more natural, but only in rich neighborhoods) This is because Santa, as we all know, uses sleigh bells on his reindeer.

 

Fun Fact: Santa forces all animals but bears to wear jingle bells at the north pole. This is because a napping bear jingles no bells.

 

The debate is exactly how many. Frank Baum, the author of Wizard of Oz and, much more relevant, The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, argues that there are ten strings of jingle bells. However he also claims there are ten reindeer in Santa’s team rather than eight with a ninth option when inclement weather arrives. This is the direct cause for the famed Frank Baum – Gene Autry wars of the 1940s.

 

Pictured: The cold-blooded, ruthless victor

 

But really what song or how many bells are irrelevant. What is important is that more is better in the realm of jingle bells, and in keeping with the spirit of the season it is encouraged that everyone promptly go out and buy two hundred strings of jingle bells and give them out freely in the next few days. Together, we can beat Scrooge!

 

And in doing so we’ll expose him as the quack-pot he really is.