Graph-a-Day til Christmas Part 20!

 

I’m sure everyone out there has the same thing on their minds: we need more studies on snow warfare. Well, you’re in luck. While today’s topic is no Stalingrad or Simho Hayha (Look him up), it does touch on one of the mainstays of snowy warfare–attrition. Earlier this week we looked at the offensive side of snow warfare–snowballs, insults, and racially-charged snowman slurs–but today it’s all about the defense.

 

This is the kind of snow that falls in Pittsburgh

 

You’ll probably notice first and foremost that according to this graph, no time is a bad time to build a snow fort. That is exactly correct. Good job, you already understand bullet point 1.

 

Unfortunately Philosoraptor is already on bullet point 8

 

Then there is the matter of the peak hours. The first we see arises at dawn. The combination of early daylight, snow accumulated over the night hours, and and boundless energy from a good night’s sleep makes for prime snow fort building time. Also, bears are no longer active, which means you can get a good head start if you’re worried about attacks.

 

“Prepare to meet your maker! …This afternoon.”

 

Our next chance is at noon. It’s the lunch hour and likely among the warmest part of the day, so it’s a no-brainer to build now.

 

 

The “no-brainer” part is why I refer to the noon hour as “The Pinky Hour”

 

Finally, we get a little bump to snow fort building around dusk, when any of your remaining creative juices can be squeezed in before nightfall. It gives you just enough time to finish your crenelations, install that new keep, or figure out how to store boiling oil without melting the murder holes. And as an added bonus the cold night weather helps to coat the snow with a nice icy sheen that makes it totally super-duper hard.

 

 

If Constantinople had these, no one would know what Istanbul was
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