Spook 31 — The Scariest of them All

Well I’ve done some research with Halloween fast approaching, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I have finally found the scariest movie of all for the Halloween season. It’s a series to be fair, and one that may surprise you. It tells the tale of a town full of depraved minds, a world ravaged by disease, the brutal plight of one young man, and the horrors that society can come to wreak on humanity.

Any idea what it is?


Well, of course, it is the Halloween films of Charlie Brown, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and It’s Magic, Charlie Brown!

Don’t follow? Let me explain. What follows are four reasons why these movies are far more deeply disturbing than any other movie I have seen to date.

This beagle laughs in your faces

Reason 1 – Charlie Brown is hopelessly abused.

Watch a horror movie with a little kid in it. Maybe The Omen or The Orphanage or Halloween. What’s something those kids have in common? No idea? They all have troubled lives.

Mr. Brown is no different. He is repeatedly humiliated by a sadistic Lucy that insists on repeatedly tearing away the football that Charlie wants to kick. She informs Charlie Brown that the only party invitation he has ever received came by mistake. Even his own dog disrespects the man by turning him invisible and then covering the boy in mud in the other film! If that’s not a future slasher, I don’t know what is.

Charlie wears his future on his sleeves

Reason 2 – Magic Falls Into the Wrong Hands

Scary movies are full of stories about people that dabble in things they should care nothing for. Sometimes it’s ghosts. Sometimes it’s magic. Sometimes it’s demons.

Sometimes it’s trees.

But the scariest idea of all is when those powers fall into the hands of someone unfit to use them. You know, someone who can’t think straight. Someone that is a dog.

And yet that’s exactly what It’s Magic, Charlie Brown leaves us with. Sure Charlie Brown gets turned back to being visible. That’s nice and all. Unfortunately Snoopy still has the uncanny ability to alter reality and make what he thinks to be very, very real.

A world where the Flying Ace reigns supreme

Reason 3 – The Freaky Opening Sequence

If you haven’t watched It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! I recommend you do– if your psyche can handle it. Check it out here (The sequence in questions starts at about 1:40).

SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!? What’s going on with those kids? We’ve talked in the past about poisoned candy but that was just a myth, right? I mean, what kind of awful people would actually do that???

The kind who never shows her face

Reason 4 – The adults in this world are twisted

Before I get too far into this, let me clarify that I feel for the adults in this world. I really do. Obviously at some point in this alternate past, a mutant strain of polio destroyed the vocal cords of the entire nine and up population, forcing them to become half human-half trombone cyborgs. That blows.

Get it?? Blows!?!? BWAHAHAHAH…hahah..ha…heh…..heh…..errrr……….heh…..

But still, that is no reason to treat the kids like they do. They force their children to educate themselves in the proper etiquette for trick or treating. They aren’t around to keep the kids safe. And worst of all, they endanger their children’s future by furthering the brutal abusive of one Mr. Charlie Brown.

A terrible killer is born as fate hands him his weapon of choice

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