Spooks 6 AND 7 — Why Witches love Kitties

Well I missed a day but rather than sit around moping about missed opportunities, I saw an outlet for a NEW OPPORTUNITY! Sort of. We’re just going to do a combo episode. What’s the combo? Witches and Cats! Because what about Halloween goes together better than witches and cats?

Oh, right.

So witches, right? They’re spooky and they love brooms. What more is there to know about them? Well a lot apparently.
Back in the day, witches were a much bigger deal than they are nowadays. Here’s pictorial proof:

Witches today

Yesteryear’s witches

Back in the day when witches were scary and Roman Christians were using them as a cheap alternative to kerosene (though with some challenges; ever try to fit a witch inside a lantern?), witches were known for with consorting with the devil. This mental picture of witches more or less hung on for a good long time, during which the ever popular “witches’ rights” movement failed to catch on.

“No, no, no… not ‘suffering.’ ‘Suffrage!!!'”

Well this whole witch thing went on and on and on until we reach a more modern day and science takes control. Most people would point to things like the enlightenment, but if you’ve only loosely studied history as I have, you’ll assume you’ve heard that term describe a half a dozen different periods and just say it was “sometime in the 1700s when people started reading more.”

From then on it was basically just an unavoidable progression from scary monster to sexy and otherwise kind of funny sidenote.

Cats on the other hand have a very different story. It starts billions of years ago in the primordial ooze, where some spark of life infuses a molecule of inanimate matter with animation.

Kind of like Toy Story did for the mid-90s

From there, one thing led to another, and next thing you knew we had cats. Black cats are the cats in question here, because they are the cats that particularly love chillaxing with witches.

That cauldron is full of catnip. And PCP.

Now cats have been defined as many things over the course of history, including: lazy, smelly, fat, furry, Blue, Russian, and revived agents of Lucifer. While some people get hung up the Russian part, it’s really the last item on that list that gets people.

That unfortunate fact is one that is rather cat-astrophic because while our modern day seems to have a grip on witch burnings for the most part, we do lack a firm grasp on black cat torture according to a wealth of sources of which I will just offer this one that doesn’t even really corroborate those claims anyway.

Of course, for those who do attempt to sacrifice poor black cats, just remember that they have some pretty nasty cousins that might come a knockin.

“Remind me again how you knew Fluffers?”

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