It’s December 5th, or as I like to call it– one month after the day American kids think they care about ever since V for Vendetta came out!
You know what else dumb American kids do? ice their friends! Here’s a comic!
Get it? It’s a literal meaning joke. Anyway, let’s talk about icing.
Some forms of icing are great. (Citation: Cupcakes) Other forms of icing are less great and more really friggin stupid. To that note:
I tried to give this phenomenon credit, I really did. Then I remembered I wasn’t a tool, and it was all lost. For those who don’t know, this is how the game works.
- Hide Smirnoff ice.
- Wait for person to find Smirnoff Ice.
- Make person drink Smirnoff Ice.
- Laugh, yell, point, and talk about your huge biceps and that time you totally almost nailed that chick from your remedial bio class (optional next step: cite creative freedom regarding the phrase “almost nailed”).
And that’s about the story of icing. Why the anger towards icing? Well besides the obvious anti-bro sentiment, there’s also this part: Smirnoff Ice is NO Christmas drink! In my mission to spread Christmas cheer, Smirnoff Ice is a mortal enemy. My allies? Gluhwein, Sam Adams Winter Lager, and Hot Chocolate.
What’s my point? Why are you still sitting there reading my post? Go drink some hot chocolate! It’s good for the soul, and even better for the Swiss Miss bottom line (I better get free Hot Cocoa for this). Seriously though, go away. This post is over.